


If You're Gonna Be The Death Of Me, That's How I Wanna Go

by androgygnome, Looklooklooklesbian



Series: hammy ham man and his manly ham [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex has a really big dick lmao, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Face-Fucking, Historical Inaccuracy, Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Period-Typical Homophobia, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, The Room Where It Happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 03:32:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgygnome/pseuds/androgygnome, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Looklooklooklesbian/pseuds/Looklooklooklesbian
Summary: "Yes, we are two lovers in an unaccepting world- but nothing in this mortal realm could keep me away from you, my dearest Alexander.All my heart,Thomas Jefferson"





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with my good friend noemi (androgygnome) and it was a great time :) first fanfiction ever!!! They wrote it but I helped with the plot and ideas for the story
> 
> The title is from Collar Full by Panic! at the Disco

Alexander. There he is. I blush. OH god. What if he notices me???? IM not ready. While I rush down washington’s doorstep stair he fufcking BUMPS Into mE. “BRO WHAT THE FUCCKKK” I shout, in the most loving tone I manage. HE winks at me and kisses my hand most suavely.

I threaten to call the police, but then he says bro no homo. Im like yo touche, wanna go fucc in the Room Where It Happens. Then the emerald-eyed brunette winked twice at the same time with both eyes. 

But then he gasped most dramaticallily, and shouted “wait but isn’t burr camping out under the table bc he really what happens in the Room???” y eah I respond, sucking my teeth most seductively. 

We skipped to said Room and started passionately licking each other’s tongues, hands shoved into our pants (respectively) and massaging our most volumptious raging wing-wongs together. 

He squeezed my boot and I gurgled. We slurped and smuched and smorched for hours until hammy shoved me into the room, where we started the secc. 

I got down on my knees, unzipped his fake royalty pants and was almost blinded by the WHOOSH of that giant dong whipping past my face. I was PRAISING it and WORSHIPING the ground it dragged on until hammy shoved it into my unsuspecting wet orifice. 

I gurgled once more as it stretched my innocent and tight wholesome cheeks. Hammy ham man truly had a ham that matched his man. 

I sucked and nibbled and munched on it until his magical gogurt sped at high velocity into my eyes. I was gladly blinded once again. 

The noise of hammy’s pleasure awoke the hibernating Burr from his slumber in his warm cocoon he had formed from under the table. 

He had, to my astonishment, a pair of bright magenta wings as well as a solid baby arm. He caught me from behind and stuck his self-lubricated wanger into my squeezed tight butthole. I let out a surprised “oh.” Apparently the cocoon did nothing to solve his tiny schlong problem, but it still felt kinda nice. Not as good as Hammy’s 32 inch ween, but good enough for my taste. Better than Mad’s inverted dicc in anycase. 

Hammy moaned at the sight of Burr’s sudden appearance. “Burr what the fuck I though u liked me better than this assfuck.” Tears streamed down my face, as I took hammy’s insult with pride. 

Hammy aggressively pulled Burr out of me and replaced Burr’s meager package with his own fuck wand. I screamed for no reason whatsoever, but ham took it as a compliment, so started to pound into me aggressively.

Burr starts jerkin off in the corner, watching us, like the lame-ass he is. Poor guy probably doesn’t get any, what with his tiny dick and magenta wings. 

Eliza, hearing the ruckus, rushed in. She just got back from fucking Gwash. 

What a slut. 

But apparently she was still in the mood for more, bc her lady bone popped up and she gathered all available dicks in the room and shoved em in her gaping woman mouth hole. She rubbed her voluminous bosom all over my face, much to my straight contentment. 

But suddenly I was drawn back to my beautiful A. Ham, because his dick was hitting the EXACT right spot. 

Mmm. What a man. 

I had eyes only for him, but then I turned my head exactly 45 degrees to the right, and saw a disheveled Gwash scramble into the room, belt buckle open, face red with desire, and a scantily-clad Angelica on his arm. 

The pair gladly joined in on the action, gwash quickly taking control over the two of us, shoving his double dick into Alex’s magical booti. I Cried, because the general dick also attained my booti, for it was so long and hard it penetrated through Alexander himself. 

He died of pleasure (also from being impaled by a sharp and brutal cock) and is nothing but a flesh vessel for our mutual pleasure. 

I sob for my lover, but quickly forget because of the George’s giant great amazing dick. Wow. Wow. Wow.

 

Epilogue: all of us went to jail for necrophilia and sodomy. We’re awaiting execution by castration in the morning. Help. At least I still have Hammy’s corpse to keep me warm at night. Also his giant penis.

 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I say I helped with the plot? I meant I helped with synonyms for dick
> 
> Sequel coming soon ;)


End file.
